A mumbled, insincere “sorry” doesn’t do much for genuine, long-term empathy development. The real skill to learn is repair. How can your child learn to recognize the consequences of their actions and actually repair their relationship? This is a huge life skill – one that adults grapple with too.
It’s hard. But you can set the groundwork early.
Talk about natural consequences. This is one of the best ways to help your child connect their actions to impacts.
“When we hurt others, they might not want to play with us. What can we do to fix it?”
Share a story from your own life. This reduces their feelings of shame – they’re not the first person to make a mistake in a relationship.
“I remember a time when I made a mistake with a friend. I said sorry, and it helped.”
Once your child has the tools to work things out themselves, resist recusing and give them space. If they can’t, offer suggestions.
“I see you and your friend are upset. I trust you can work this out.”
Acknowledge their effort! It takes guts to apologize and make things right with a friend.
“I’m proud of you for wanting to make things better. That’s a great step toward being a good friend.”