From the Coop. We’re talking about body image. Waaaaaay before most parents think they have to. Research tells us that almost half of children ages 3 to 14 are unhappy with their appearance, and that insecurities around body image emerge early.
Children as young as 3 have notions about how bodies should look, and messages sent in early childhood can influence behaviors as adults.
For children who are noticing similarities and differences all around them, messages about what the world finds attractive can be confusing. Many of the negative messages we send to children about our bodies, come from generational patterns around body image. Well-meaning parents, grandparents, aunts, nannies, and friends pass along their own body image issues to children everyday. We all do. Whether it is talking about a diet, shaming ourselves for a big meal, complaining about our pant size, or scolding ourselves for our choices, we are all guilty.
Here is some practical language to help rewrite the script and take one step towards a healthier body image.
1) INSTEAD OF: “They are fat.” or “She’s so skinny! She needs to eat more.”
TRY: “Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. One isn’t better than another.”
2) INSTEAD OF: “Don’t eat that, it’s bad for you.”
TRY: “Maybe we can make a healthier choice that may make our body feel better right now.”
3) INSTEAD OF: “She’s not healthy.”
TRY: “Everyone makes different choices for their body. You can’t tell how healthy someone is by looking at their outsides. Health has to do with many things, including how their body works inside and how they feel and behave.”
4) INSTEAD OF: “You’re so pretty.”
TRY: “I love looking at your face because I love you so much. Being with you makes me feel happy and good.”
Modeling this type of positive body talk will also give your child language for when their friends express body dissatisfaction. Children whose friends struggle with body image are more likely to develop insecurities themselves, and this link becomes stronger over time as your child becomes more affected by their peers.